my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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