"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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