Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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