ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
