He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
