I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize