youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
