Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize