I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
