dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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