the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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