We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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