True but thats because hes a fetus.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
