I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
