the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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