Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
