Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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