oh god the rape fog is back!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
