Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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