i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
