Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
