No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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