I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
