I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
