So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
