Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
false alarm, still single
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