Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
