he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
