At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
