i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
