well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
