some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
