Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
