So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
