you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
