Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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