I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
