9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
