I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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