I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
