I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
