I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
