White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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