I love black thongs
your room smells of hookers.
And success
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
