i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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