Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
