you would pick up someone in the library
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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