she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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