I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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