Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
