8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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