i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Holy shit dude........stairs
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