I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
