Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
