when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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