Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
