U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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