I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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