I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
