Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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