butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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