This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
