We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize