I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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