i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
