You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
