I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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