OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
